I am Asian. It's Time to Make a Fuss.
There’s a word in Cantonese that I’ve grown up with and cannot stand. It’s pronounced “Ma-Fahn.” It means “a fuss, a bother.”
It’s ingrained in us as children - at least in my family, but also in many other Chinese families I know - not to make a fuss, not to complain, and just conform and do as you’re told. This attitude doesn’t change as you grow. Particularly when it means you might stand out and, you know, cause a fuss. You want to just do your job well, get good grades, make your parents proud. But all the while, not making a fuss on your way there and potentially bringing shame to the family.
Well, I don’t subscribe to those ideologies. And after the events of this past week, I’ll shout from the rooftops if I have to.
It goes a little something like this:
We’re not the virus.
We’re not your exotic yellow flower.
I don’t care to be “your first Asian”
We’re not demure and subservient.
We’re not here to serve you.
We’re not all quiet.
Not all of us are Chinese.
And if we are, don’t ask if we can speak “Chinese.” Be specific: There are 7 major dialects.
And not all who are Chinese come from China.
We don’t all get good grades.
We’re not all bad drivers.
And also this:
Call things for what they are and stop tiptoeing around the topic of white supremacy.
Stop fetishizing Asian women.
Stop making excuses for, and humanizing murderers.
Do something when you see acts of physical or verbal aggression on an Asian brother or sister, or any member of the BIPOC community.
Learn how to be an ally and seek out resources.
Check in on your Asian friends and family.
Talk about this at your dinner table, whether you’re BIPOC or not.
Do not accept hate, no matter what form it appears.
Learn how to spot micro-aggressions, within yourself and among your friends and family.
Hold our politicians accountable. I’m looking at you too, Canada.
Listen.
Learn.
Love.
*This post originally appeared on my personal Facebook page. Following the suggestions of friends and family, I am now sharing it more broadly here, on my public website. Feel free to share.
