Family Day

When you’re a divorced parent, the Holidays suck because you have to share them with the other household. Today was Family Day and my boys are at their Dad’s. It just so happened that way on our schedule. And their Dad and I luckily have a good relationship. I know that this isn’t the case in all situations out there and we consider ourselves fortunate. 

That said, it doesn’t mean I don’t get misty-eyed knowing what day it is and I’m thumbing through photos on my phone. Inevitably I come across photos of the kids and there go my allergies again. Sigh.

You think that you’ll get through the pain and the separation, that you’ll adjust. But you don’t, really. The kids started having two households when they were 4 and 6. They’re now 15 and 17. And the youngest can barely remember his Dad and me being together. To say that I don’t feel regret about how things have turned out, I’d be lying. 

Of course, their Dad and I are now living separate, happy lives with our respective partners. The kids have adjusted well given the circumstances but I think I’ll always carry the guilt of having put them through it all.

Ah, if only life wasn’t so messy. If life didn’t have its complications and things could magically work out. But life is messy. It’s hard. And out of all of that crap, you hope to find your way. You hope your family survives it, that your kids will grow to be stronger and understand what good, healthy relationships are about. 

What, in all of life’s trials and revelations, the lessons they can take with them to teach their own families one day.