Several months ago, someone who I considered a really good friend had made a throwaway comment about my Instagram feed that really bothered me. I’ve been thinking about that comment for quite some time and was actually more bothered that it made me feel uneasy. It made me feel defensive. At the time, I had decided not to confront my friend about it because I didn’t want it to affect our friendship. But so much time has now passed and it still bothers me to this day.
I can’t totally remember what was said in the conversation and who else was present but she said “Yeah, (Cindy) only posts pictures of herself.” Yeah, let that sink in for a moment. It hurt me that a friend would say something like that while I was right next to her - and I was disappointed in myself for not saying something about it at the time. What I do recall was that it was related to why my kids aren’t on my feed.
And the answer’s simple. I chose not to.
Every person knows what works for them - and it’s not always the same for everyone. People share pictures of their kids for a multitude of reasons - and many don’t, also for a multitude of reasons. It doesn’t matter why - it’s their choice. And as long as it doesn’t affect other people, why judge?
And let’s be clear. I have shared pictures of my kids on my feed - but they’re very few and far between. Not because I’m not proud of them or because I don’t think they can rock a cool t-shirt. In fact, my kids are incredibly smart, beautiful, funny and spirited. So I do post the odd one - every once in a while - but I’m very careful never to overdo it. And yes - I clearly see the irony given I’m a blogger - who’s very existence focuses on the ability to share.
But here’s the thing - being a blogger is my thing, not theirs. Every time I post a photo of my kids, I’m making a decision on their behalf; they don’t get to choose. I, on the other hand, chose a career that regularly puts me in front of the lens. And I’m ok with that. But my kids are at an age where they do care about every image of them - and I respect that. And until my kids are asking me the same question of why I don’t have more pictures of them on my Instagram, I’ll respect that they don’t want me to post them.
The image in this blog post is one that was taken while the family was on Spring Break and is depicting more the beauty of the landscape than the kids themselves. And I’m proud to post it, and so are my kids.
So I hope those of you who wonder why I chose not to - including my friend who I doubt will read this - can respect that too.